You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
