I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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