fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
