I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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