Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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