Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
