GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
