guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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