Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
