how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
