pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
