so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So vagazzling was a success
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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