CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
