Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
