I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So many bounce houses so little time
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
