I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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