If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
