The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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