dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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