the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you inspire me to be a worse person
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
