I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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