if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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