Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
