I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
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I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
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the liver wants what the liver wants
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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