Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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