i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
