Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
