there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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