Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
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Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
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I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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