doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm really into asian looking animals
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
