I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
