Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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