on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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