i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need water and some morals
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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