I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize