She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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