3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
