he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
