And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
