Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
