I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
