is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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