i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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