Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Success! We fucked roommates!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
