Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
