Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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