Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
