Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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