You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
