if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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