I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
