I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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