How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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