Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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