I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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