if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
