there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
