what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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