Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just invented taco cereal.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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