I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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