Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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