I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
