Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
3 2 1 whiskey
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
