Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
