Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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